Something was triggered today.
It started a spiral.
I want to say despair but the Emo Kids have ruined that word.
It is a feeling of insignificance. A crushing and sinking feeling. Like being smothered by reality.
I don't really know what triggered it. Or what made the dam break. But the flood is here and even though I know it will pass it makes me reflect.
I guess I could blame the Sun whose light I miss, and I should blame my sleeping schedule that makes me waste the day.
Winter blues, that what a friend calls it.
It hits her hard, every year, she gets sad and depressed and as much as I want to cheer her up, I find myself pulled down by my own need to bask in the sun.
Maybe I should tan. Bake in an oven. Maybe I should reinvigorate and focus and turn things around. It is after all a matter of willpower and perseverance to turn a crushing weight aside.
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